Di Marta Cavaliere
In this unusual spring, unlike any other, I find myself thinking often. I have much more free time and inevitably I start wandering among a thousand thoughts. On these monotonous days, all the same, which almost don't make sense, the only positive thing is to observe a blooming peach tree from the window. What a pity, however, to be able to look at it only from a distance and not to be able to smell the scent of its flowers.
In the last few weeks it has also become difficult to simply smile when before I almost couldn't help it. My life stopped at that before, when I complained about everything and I longed for a break from everything that kept me busy. The break has come, but something has gone wrong: I didn't imagine it like that, I never expected something like a pandemic.
How much I regret now that I have lived with inertia much of my time. What then in the end was not even living that, but only to spend the days, not paying attention to the beautiful things that happened to me. Now, I spend the day thinking, listening to music and observing the few people who pass on the street with masks. My mind is full of thoughts: there are happy days to remember that for a moment they snatch a half smile from me, but then they catapult me into a feeling of melancholy never experienced before.
I think how nice it would be to go to the beach, take those long walks that I like so much; go back to school, joke and laugh with classmates, complain together that they have a lot to study, chat with the teachers when the lesson ends a little earlier; go out with friends from the village, go to the bar and above all embrace the people I love and laugh happily. Unfortunately I have to content myself with pressing the call button on the phone or a trivial message.
Who would have thought that on my birthday I would see my friends, my relatives, the people I really need for the last time. If I had known before, I would have lived even more fully all those happy moments, which I miss now and of which now I have only the memory. Forty days have passed since everything stopped, instead an eternity seems to have passed, and there is still no time for everything to return to normal.
One of the fixed thoughts is precisely this: what will I do when all this ends?
Maybe the only thing that really manages to make me smile is just imagining that day. In particular, I imagine the day when my gaze will rest on someone else's and will be the reason for my greatest happiness. For now I can only hope that that moment will come quickly. It will be a real rebirth, for each of us. We will learn to make the best use of our life: now that we have understood how fantastic and beautiful our world is, we will return to smile at it.